The Kindergarten Terrors of Aragorn and Legolas
by Sir Fish Boy
Summary: Aragorn is 5 years old and his dad sends him off to kindergarten. Legolas is Aragorn's babysitter, which means total chaos!
1. Intro

(A/N: this might be a little weird cause I don't usually write fanfics all that much. Remember to r&r!)

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own LotR or Swedish Fish.

"So that's how Fuzzball was ambushed by kindergarteners. The end!"

A tiny 5 year old Aragorn was staring wide-eyed at his dad. He had just finished listening to him read a story. "I'm never going to kindergarten!" he said.

"Yeah, I know how ya feel. When I got the registration forms, I saw where you would be going so I wrote-er, found this book and read it to you. So, if you're convinced that you don't want to go to kindergarten, it's fine with me," said Aragorn's dad with a very hopeful look.

"Daddy, read another book. One that's funny! And exciting! I'm going to have nightmares of kindergarteners that..." Aragorn shuddered while he imagined what a gang of little kids could do to him. "Just go find another book."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to kindergarten? You could make new friends and...blow up the house!"

"I'm sure."

"Positive?"

"I said I'm sure didn't I?"

"Positively sure?"

"DAD! I SAID I'M SURE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO KINDERGARTEN!"

"Oh. Sorry."

"Now find a freakin book before I do blow up the house!"

Arathorn had the same expression on his face as did Aragorn when he was done listening to the book. "Ok. Bed-time for you! If you can't control your temper then it's off to bed!" Aragorn saw his dad look at him, glance over at a sword, and then look back at him with a slight grin on his face.

"Yes sir dad sir! Off to bed with naughty kids sir!" said Aragorn as he ran to his room. He started to play with his little orc army action figures. He didn't even notice Arathorn peeking into his room, holding his big sword.

"Aragorn! I thought naughty kids go to bed! Now for your punishment...kindergarten!"

Aragorn dropped to his knees like an invisible sword of invisibleness had just stabbed him. "Nnnnooooooooooooooooooo!" he screamed. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh yes I would! You could've been sleeping but you were playing! So, I'll tell the teacher at Rivendell to make a spot for a little troublemaker," said Arathorn. But Aragorn had fainted when he heard Rivendell. Just the thought of a bunch of little elves running around with little bows and little arrows was too much for a kid of his age.

~ 7 Hours Later ~

"Aragorn. Wake up! Come on! We're in Rivedell now." Arathorn was desperately trying to wake up the little kid. No matter what he did, Aragorn wouldn't wake up. Then he had an idea. He ran out of the room and got an elf. Then he told the elf to take on very slow step near Aragorn. So the elf did what he was told and Aragorn woke up.

"Thank you very much young elf! You just might've saved my life!" said Arathorn to the confused elf. "Hey! I know you. You're Legolas! I'm a big fan of yours! Aragorn is going to have a great time with you as his babysitter! Wow! My son being raised by a famous elf!"

Arathorn started to leave the room. "Uh, Arathorn. You forgot Aragorn! Wait! I'm no good with 5-year-olds!" Legolas said. "You can't..." Arathorn left. "leave."

Aragorn was looking more like an evil kindergartener every second. He was staring at Legolas with an I'll-kill-you-if-I-don't-do-something-fun look.

"Oh no," whimpered Legolas. "This is not good"

"Hey! Elf! Take me to the store so I can get something to eat!" said a very, very hungry Aragorn.

"Ok! I know just the place!" said Legolas. A couple minutes later they were inside Albertson's. Aragorn saw the carts with the little plastic cars on the front. He ran over to one, got in, and started to drive away.

"Nooo! Aragorn come back! You don't even have your drivers-*thump* Sorry! He's with me. Aragorn! Watch out! Don't *thump* run over any more *thump* people Aragorn! You're going to kill someone!" Legolas was desperately trying to catch Aragorn. He had almost caught up to him when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye.

"You can just go without me. I'll catch up later. I gotta see what this is!" said Legolas, not noticing the screams of terror coming from the other side of the store. He picked up a bag of what appeared to be tiny red fish, looked around to make sure no one was watching, opened the bag, and ate one. It was the best thing he had ever tasted! But before he knew it, the elf was addicted to this wonderful candy known as Swedish Fish!

After buying all the Swedish Fish in the store (elves have lots of money) he left, not knowing that he left a loose kindergartener in a store.

When Legolas got back to Rivendell, he realized that his credit card was with Aragorn. Then there was a strange noise coming from outside. Looking out his window, the terrified elf saw a little kid, with an evil grin, droving a car at full speed towards Rivendell.

(A/N: So, whadda ya think? Give me any tips or ideas that you have. I need them.)


	2. Of textbooks, markers, and kidnappers

(a/n: Sorry it took soooooooooooooooooooooooo long to update. I was grounded from the internet for a month(about)and I still am, so I have to sneak on every night...*nervous grin*

Thanx for all the great reviews from everyone!!!! ^^ Except for the one flame I got. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Disclaimer!! Let's see, I don't own LotR or Rivendell (which is included in LotR) or any of the characters of LotR (which is also included in LotR) and that's about it! 

And remember, if anyone flames me one more time I'll slit their sorry little throats! And now to the story!!)

Aragorn was sitting in the kindergarten room with his classmates. Legolas was the substitute teacher for the day. "Now listen up everyone," he said nicely. They ignored him. "Ok, time to start class!" he said a little more loudly. Still, complete chaos. "Shut up you frickin kids!" The room went silent. "Thank you," he said with his normal voice again. "Now get out your textbooks."

The little kids looked at him with their big teary eyes. A courageous little elf raised her hand.

"Oh, I see we have a question?" Legolas asked the terrified elf.

"Yes sir substitute!" she managed to squeak out.

"Well?"

"We don't really have textbooks sir substitute," she said.

"Well then write one!" screamed Legolas. "1000 pages about the history of Rivendell!"

There were a bunch of groans coming from the kids. They got on the internet, printed off some papers, glued them into a folder, and within five minutes they were done. "We're done!" they said all at the same time. "What?! But how...1000 pages...that would take months!" Legolas said with tons of Swedish Fish coming out of his mouth. Everyone just shrugged their shoulders. 

Legolas' mouth was wide open. When he came back to his senses he felt really tired from eating Swedish Fish too fast. "Um, it's naptime now," he said while looking at Aragorn...

~~ 30 minutes later ~~

Aragorn just finished making Legolas "beautiful" with the help of a green Sharpie. He was so tired that he collapsed right where he was standing. A lot of people don't know this, but Aragorn snored really loud when he was little...(at least I think he did) It woke everyone up from their nap.

~~ 30 more minutes later ~~

All the little elves were giggling like crazy whenever they looked at Legolas. His hair was all spiked up and he looked like he was sick because there was marker all over his face (remember, it's a _green_ sharpie and when people are sick they sorta turn green).

A couple of the elves were poking Aragorn with sticks, trying to wake him up. In the end, they gave up and joined everyone else and started laughing at a now crying Legolas. Aragorn was alone on the other side of the room.

All of a sudden there was a small, dark, hobbit-like figure dangling over Aragorn. There was Mission Impossible music playing in the background. It lowered itself down and took Aragorn by his arm and they both disappeared into the ceiling...

a/n: so, how do ya like ch. 2? It might be a little short. But who cares? In the next ch. I'm gonna reveal the mysterious figure! *gasp* And maybe even a new character!! *double gasp* And now you will review!!! *triple gasp* Hehe...sorry. 


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